I’m afraid to fall in love. I’m so scared,butI think it is too late. I am already in love, madly…with my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for 4 and a half months but havent said it and it scares me. I wont say it first though, im too afraid that if I do, he wont say it back. It’ll kill me. Plus he’s leaving for university, why do I want my love to leave. I’m scared of being so vulnerable to someone, letting them in that much. It’s fucking scary. He doesn’t love me, and that hurts the worst.

1. Last hug: My Mommy <3
2. Last phone call: Jessy
3. Last text message: Jessy or Arielle
4. Last song you heard: What’s Your Fantasy-Ludacris
5. Last time you cried: Today

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Nope <3
7. Been cheated on: Nope
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes
9. Lost someone special: My grandma and grandpa
10. Been depressed: I think yes, I have
11. Been drunk and threw up: nope!

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12: Baby blue, the colour of my room!
13: Peach
14: Neon PINK

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: Yes, I have made many
16. Fallen out of love: Nope, I was never in love.
17. Laughed until you cried: I believe so.
18. Met someone who changed you: Maybe.
19. Found out who your true friends were: I know them.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list:  yes.

YOUR LIFE.
22.How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Almost all
23. How many kids do you want: 1 or 2
24. Do you have any pets: nope
25. Do you want to change your name: no I like Alexandra
26. What did you do for your last Birthday: I hung out with driends
27. What time did you wake up today: 9:00 AM
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Laying in bed, talking to my friend liza
29. Name something you cannot wait for: To be cuddled up with my boyfriend
30. Last thing yu had 2 drink: water!
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: How my family is, I just want everyone to be happy
32. What are you listening to rite now: Photographs- Rihanna
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:  Yes, once
34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now: Some friends
35. Most visited webpage: Twitter
36. Whats your real name: Alexandra
37. Nicknames: Allie, Alex, Alliecat, Lex, Lexy, Al and the list goes on…
38. Relationship Status: In A relationship
40. Male or female: female
44. Write w/e you want here: I have a headache
45. Tall or short: short
46. Height: 5’2 ish
47. Do you have a crush on someone: I have a boyfriend
48. What do you like about yourself: My thighs, hair, eyes, bum :)
49. Piercings: Ears
50. Tattoos: None
51. Righty or lefty: Righty!

FIRSTS:
53. First piercing: Ears
54. First best friend:Sarah 
55.First sport you joined: None :$ OH dance, or maybe gymnastics
56. First vacation: Barbados

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating:Nothing
60. Drinking:Water
61. I’m about to: sleep
62. Listening to: roc me out
63. Waiting for: Idk..

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids: yes
65. Get married: please
66. Career: phycologist!
 
WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: both
69. Shorter or taller: taller on guys
70. Older or Younger: older 
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontanious
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: stomach
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: rlelationship.

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: yes
77. Drank hard liquor: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Dont have them.
79. Told someone off: yes
80. Broken someone’s heart: I dont know, maybe. depends on how much he liked me
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone die:yes
85. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: of course, I’m awsome
87. Miracles: Yes, always.
88. Love at first sight: No. 
89. Heaven: Yes, probably
91. Kiss on the first date: obviously
92. Angels: I dont know

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today: yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody: no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go ? 4 months ago

98. The moment you would choose: my first day with my bf.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Iam

Do you ever have those dreams where you kiss someone? Someone you normally wouldnt kiss? I do all the time. I almost feel like my concience is telling me somthing. Sort of like little subliminal messages saying ” Go for him, go for your best friend. You’ll be happy for him” But when I wake up, i think about it and It just dosne’t seem that appealing. But one thing I know for sure is this dream shows ffreindship, at least Im pretty sure.

Me: *Talking to my best guy friend* OMG i have sothing to tell you!

Him: What! *Wrestles me till we fall on the floor, me lying ontop of him*

Me: The other day I kissed (Insert name) I dont know why * looks at lips and moves closer until were both about to kiss*

Me: *Pulls away* Nu uh were not doing this that would be to weird

Him: I agree, I dont know what I was thinking.

*We both laugh*

^ Trefreindshipeh?

Hi everyone (If anyone actually IS reading my blog). My name is Alexandra and I am a fourteen year old girl from Canada. I have an amazing life even though sometimes It dosent seem that way. Summer started one week ago exactally and with the start of summer I want to start blogging. I want to start blogging so I have a place to express my thoughts and feelings even the kinds I feel to weird to express in everyday Life. I want to be free and open and not hold anything back. My entries will be full of my random opinions and thoughts and maybe one day I can read back and thing “Wow, was I really that weird of a teenager?”. I can not wait until those day. In the mean wish me a happy bllogging experiance ;)